It’s funny how motherhood really hits you. Those quiet moments when you think “Wow, I actually did alright today.” They’re few and far between, but they’re there to keep you going. Little reminders that maybe, just maybe, you’re going to make it. Cue pat on the back.
Most days, if I’m being utterly honest, I feel like a sub-par mom. I think I’m a decent “housewife”…our house is usually completely presentable aside from a few stray toys, we’ve never run out of clean laundry, and very rarely is the sink full of dishes…but the mom thing I struggle with. I’m not great at being needed. (This has ruined a lot of relationships with me. ha!) I crave more quiet, alone time than the average human. Throw in two kids under two who essentially need attention at all hours of the day (and sometimes at night too) and I get worn thin really quickly. I wish I had more patience with them.
I had one of these back-patting moments not too long ago while putting up our leftover dinner. Mark had to work late and I had successfully washed and folded three loads of laundry, made a pot roast, vacuumed the whole house, carted both kids to Cora’s dance class, bathed both kids, and tucked them into their beds. Dexter went down easily with a full belly (he drank 14 ounces in the half hour before he fell asleep…true story) and grinned at me as I left his room, and I braided Cora’s hair into sweet little braids before I laid her down and listened to her whisper “Nigh’ nigh’ mommy.”
It’s important to me to pause in these moments and remember it’s fine. Everything is fine. We’re doing alright. Alright alright alright.